Respond to good news by asking for the story
Say you’re happy for them, then ask how it happened or what comes next. “Congrats!” alone closes the topic. A question lets them tell you the story.
Get comfortable talking to people. Connsmitten is an app for building social confidence through short lessons and practice conversations, with feedback from your coach.
Ask about a friend’s good news
When they share good news, be happy for them and ask for the story.
When someone shares good news, they want to enjoy it with you. Say you’re happy for them, then ask for the story: how it happened, what it was like, what comes next. “Congrats!” is kind, and it closes the topic. A question lets them tell it. Loud or quiet both work, as long as you’re glad and you ask.
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“My boss asked me to lead the new project!”
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Not this: Congrats! That’s great.
This: That’s huge! What’s the project?
When a friend texts that they got the apartment
Tuesday night, a text from your friend Rosie
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RosieI GOT THE APARTMENT!!! 🎉
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What would you say?
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Nice! Isn’t rent around there crazy, though?
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Rosie!! That’s amazing. When do you move in?
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Congrats!! 🎉
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Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.
Listen to Dan open the conversation
Hey! How was your weekend?
Compare the two replies
“My boss asked me to lead the new project!”
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Not this: Congrats! That’s great.
This: That’s huge! What’s the project?
What does the second reply add?
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A question about their news.
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A compliment.
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Exclamation marks.
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When someone just ran their first half marathon
RaviI ran my first half marathon today!
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You: Nice! I’m thinking about signing up for one too.
Does this reply ask about the good news?
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Doesn’t ask
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Asks about it
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When someone is adopting a dog
HaileyGuess who’s adopting a dog!! We pick her up Saturday 🐶
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You: Ahh, a dog! What’s her name?
Does this reply ask about the good news?
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Doesn’t ask
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Asks about it
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When a coworker tells you she passed her exam
Thursday, lunch with a coworker
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DanaSo I got my results back. I passed my nursing exam.
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What do you say to Dana?
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Oh, that’s so good to hear. Were you nervous opening them?
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Congrats! Now the hard part starts, right?
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Nice! I just finished my online course too.
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When someone’s band gets booked for a show
ZachMy band got booked for a real show. Like, with a stage.
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Finish your reply to Zach.
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No way! Is it paid, or just for exposure?
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No way! When is it? I want to be there.
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No way! I was in a band in high school.
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When someone gets a promotion
GwenI got the promotion!! I start as a manager on Monday.
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Be happy for Gwen, then ask for the story.
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One way to reply
- React to what they saidGwen, that’s huge!
- Ask them a questionHow did they tell you?
Happy for her, then a question that lets Gwen tell you how it happened.
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Lines to leave out
- Hope they’re paying you more for it. It turns her news into a question about money. Ask about the news itself first.
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Woman’s voiceMan’s voice - I’ve been waiting on mine for a year. It turns to your own wait while Gwen’s news is still new. Ask about hers.
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Woman’s voiceMan’s voice
What the research found
Enthusiastic replies to good news built trust, with strangers and in close relationships.
Your mission
Next time someone tells you good news, say you’re happy for them and ask one question about it.
In the Connsmitten app
A practice conversation with Ben follows this lesson’s questions.
Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.
Listen to Dan open the conversation
Hey! How was your weekend?