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How to answer “What do you do?”

Go past the job title with one detail people can picture, like ads on city buses or night shifts at a children’s hospital, then ask about their work.

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Bounce it back: Answer with something specific, then ask them something back.

Bounce it back

A friend’s birthday dinner

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

KyleSo, what do you do?

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

Which answer bounces it back?

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I do marketing for the city buses. It’s mostly ads, and it keeps me busier than you’d think.
A good detail, and no question back, so Kyle has to work out whose turn it is. End with one about him.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I do marketing for the city buses, mostly the ads you see inside them. What about you?
Kyle has seen those ads, so he has a question ready, and “What about you?” hands him his turn.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I’m in marketing. You?
Marketing is a whole field. Kyle has to guess which part to ask about, and the question back leaves him starting from nothing.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.

Listen to Dan open the conversation

Hey! How was your weekend?

Dan
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After you say your job title

Plant a hook

Plant a hook: Give one specific detail they can ask about.

TariqSo, what do you do?

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

Finish your answer so they have something to ask about.

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I’m a nurse, which keeps me pretty busy, between the shifts and everything else.
Long, and still closed: “busy” and “everything else” give Tariq nothing to ask about. Name one thing about the job.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I’m a nurse, so, you know, long hours.
The “you know” asks Tariq to fill in the rest. Say one thing about your shifts, and he has something to ask.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
I’m a nurse, on the night shift at the children’s hospital.
Night shifts and a children’s hospital each give Tariq a question: how you stay awake, or what the kids are like.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

Plant a hook

Plant a hook: Give one specific detail they can ask about.

DiegoWhat do you do for work?

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

You: I work at a phone repair shop, mostly fixing cracked screens.

Does this reply keep the conversation going?

Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
Ends it
That one’s alive. Cracked screens give Diego something to ask about, like how many you fix in a day.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice
Keeps it going
Everyone has seen a cracked screen, so Diego has a question ready.
Listen
Woman’s voice
Man’s voice

So what do you do?

When someone asks what you do for work

What the research found

Strangers who took turns opening up liked each other more than pairs who talked in long one-sided stretches.
Sprecher and Treger, Personal Relationships, 2015

Your mission

Next time someone asks how you are, answer with something specific and ask them something back.

Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.

Listen to Dan open the conversation

Hey! How was your weekend?

Dan
Get started

How to talk to people