How to make small talk at work
Start with what you’re both stuck with, like a meeting running late or the Wi-Fi going down, and give coworkers one detail to ask about.
Get comfortable talking to people. Connsmitten is an app for building social confidence through short lessons and practice conversations, with feedback from your coach.
Open with what’s there: Start with something you both can see or share, then add an opinion or a question.
Open with what’s there
Outside a meeting room that’s running late
Listen
You and a coworker from another team are both waiting for the room. What do you open with?
Listen
How’s your day going?
Listen
Twenty minutes over. Think they’ll ever come out?
Listen
Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. What team are you on?
Listen
Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.
Listen to Dan open the conversation
Hey! How was your weekend?
When you’re stuck with the same problem
Open with what’s there
DylanOf course the fire drill is the one day it’s freezing.
Listen
You: Yeah, it’s cold.
Does this reply keep the conversation going?
Listen
Ends it
Listen
Keeps it going
Listen
Open with what’s there
RussellIs your Wi-Fi out too? I just lost a whole email.
Listen
You: Yeah. Did you see the game last night?
Does this reply keep the conversation going?
Listen
Ends it
Listen
Keeps it going
Listen
When someone new asks about you
Plant a hook
Plant a hook: Give one specific detail they can ask about.
The break room, with someone who started this week
Listen
NeilI’m new on the sales team. How long have you been here?
Listen
Which answer plants a hook?
Listen
About two years now. Time flies, it feels like I just started.
Listen
Two years, in support. I answer the angry emails.
Listen
A while now.
Listen
When a coworker mentions life outside work
Take their hook
Take their hook: Ask about something they just said.
SteveMy daughter talked me into coaching her basketball team. We lost by thirty.
Listen
You: By thirty! How did the team take it?
Does this reply keep the conversation going?
Listen
Ends it
Listen
Keeps it going
Listen
I’m wiped. I stayed up until two finishing a puzzle my grandma sent me. A thousand pieces, all sky.
Oh, your exam! Okay, speaking of exams, I still have every flashcard from college. Hundreds, in a shoebox. I can’t throw them out, and I don’t even know why.
Thanks. It took a while.
Sorry, I was on mute. I just gave a whole speech to nobody.
You’re the first person at work who’s heard of this board game. I’ve been dying to play it.
Have you tried the new Thai place yet? I keep hearing about it.
What the research found
In bar experiments, plain openers did better than cute, canned lines, which drew the most negative reactions.
Your mission
Before tomorrow, start one short conversation by naming something you and the other person can both see, plus a quick take or a question.
Build confidence for your next conversation. Take a two-minute lesson, then have your first practice conversation with Dan.
Listen to Dan open the conversation
Hey! How was your weekend?
How to talk to people
- How to keep a conversation going on a first date
- How to answer “How was your weekend?”
- How to answer “What do you do?”
- Small talk
- Start a conversation with a stranger from what you both see
- Be more interesting to talk to: give one specific detail
- Keep a conversation going with follow-up questions
- When a coworker says they stayed up late
- When a coworker cuts in on your news
- When a compliment gets a flat “Thanks”
- When a coworker jokes about being on mute
- When a coworker wants to play a board game you know
- When a coworker asks if you’ve tried a new restaurant